I hope you like politics along with your romance Fred Flasrsky (Seth Rogen) is a bleeding heart journalist with an uncanny knack of surviving falls that would kill or incapacitate an average person. One day he quits/gets fired after the new owner of his newspaper ends up being the embodiment of everything he hates about …
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Will they save the world or mock each other to death first?
Good God there are a ton of movies in this franchise MI6 agent Hattie Shaw (Vanessa Kirby) is on the run after being framed for killing her entire team by Brixton (Idris Elba). With there being only two people to track her down. DSS Agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) and British soldier-turned-mercenary Deckard …
Continue reading “Will they save the world or mock each other to death first?”
Number 9
In a far, far away land in California Upon seeing a trailer for Once upon a time…in Hollywood, my mom asks me what that movie is about. So I, as the film critic of the family, say “well, it’s a movie—about making movies. And Sharon Tate and Charles Manson are there for reasons that I guess I’ll just …
H-E Double Hockey Sticks Boy
Witness the most expensive B-movie ever made The first case that we see Hellboy (David Harbour) work in the film is to locate Agent Esteban Ruiz (Mario de la Rosa), who’s gone missing after being sent to uncover a coven of vampires. Sure enough, Ruiz has unfortunately been turned into a vampire and after a …
Something is rotten in the state of Pride Lands
This remake is certainly better than Dumbo Rejoice as James Earl Jones returns as Mufasa, a great lion king, father, and husband. Though Mufasa’s only flaw is that he trusts his obviously evil brother Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) a little too much. A mistake which proves to be fatal after Scar kills Mufasa and convinces his son …
Continue reading “Something is rotten in the state of Pride Lands”
The title character flies higher than the movie ever does
Witness the Disney remake that should have a totally different title This movie should be called Circus Workers (and the occasional appearance of a long-eared, flying elephant). The primary circus worker of the film is Holt Farrier (Colin Farrell), who has come back from the war to end all wars with one arm to two kids …
Continue reading “The title character flies higher than the movie ever does”
Two for two on Captain Marvel movies
I heard this movie described as Big with superpowers, but I didn’t think they be so on the nose The Wizard Shazam (Djimon Hounsou), a literal magical negro who searches for the perfect champion to bestow his powers upon. Except, after his last choice went mad with power, he has spent years searching for someone pure of …
Only in Florida
I bet the Scorch is looking pretty good right about now The main character of the film is Hayley (Kaya Scodelario), a competitive swimmer with the University of Florida because of irony. Upon realizing that her estranged father Dave (Barry Pepper) isn’t responding to any phone calls, Hayley postpones evacuating from the massive, incoming hurricane to …
I knew these escape rooms were a bad idea
I want to play a game (Unmarked Spoilers) The contestants of this Saw ripoff consist of Zoey (Taylor Russell), a quiet college student. Ben (Logan Miller), a wage slave working an awful job. Amanda (Deborah Ann Woll), a war vet. Mike (Tyler Labine), a fat guy I really liked in Reaper. Jason (Jay Ellis), a slick businessman. And …
Continue reading “I knew these escape rooms were a bad idea”
Vacation, all he ever wanted
From now on I will only refer to the Spider Sense as the Peter Tingle I hope you’ve seen Endgame because, after the prologue, this movie opens with a list of people who “died.” With the prologue itself introducing us to Quentin Beck/Mysterio, who’s the exact opposite of his comic counterpart. The source material’s Mysterio was a …
Let's Cee a Movie 