Because I’ve got a movie for you to watch Friday night. Safecracker Red (Luke Bracey) has just gotten out jail and happily reunites with his family. His wife, Chloe (Nina Dobrev), is an aspiring artist with a whole show on prison walls and is forced to work with this scumbag name Derek Blarney (David Hewlett). …
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Ironic title story
Look, every headline can’t be gold. Marriage Story concerns the lives of Charlie (Adam Driver) and Nicole (Scarlette Johansson), who, after several years of marriage, have decided to get a divorce. At first, my sympathy lay with Nicole because, by all appearances, Charlie was a terrible husband. Then intentionally or not, Nicole does several things that …
The perfect palate cleanser
It’s not the worst Netflix original I’ve seen. The film follows a group of main characters who only go by codenames to avoid emotional attachments. And if that sounds familiar to you, it should because that’s writers Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese reusing the same idea from their previous film, Zombieland. (NSFW)
What’s Swedish for Wicker Man?
Good thing I started the year with Little Women, because… I hate this movie. As someone who didn’t like Hereditary, writer/director Ari Aster’s previous film, I wasn’t expecting to like this movie, and it exceeded my expectations in that department. Because not only do I hate this movie, but it’s that particular kind of hate that …
The joys of having a sister
A good movie to start the year off with Little Women follows the lives of four sisters who are, of course, the little women of the title. Jo (Saoirse Ronan) wants to be a writer. Meg (Emma Watson) is a poor housewife. Amy (Florence Pugh) is under pressure to marry rich to take care of the rest …
Two movies that won’t leave you foaming at the mouth
A horror retrospective. Rabid (1977) is a movie from director David Cronenberg, whose films are well known for their body horror and sexual weirdness. The premise is that following a motorcycle accident that her boyfriend Hart Read (Frank Moore) got into for no discernable reason, Rose (Marilyn Chambers) is taken to a nearby plastic surgery clinic for treatment. There …
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Twas the night before Christmas…
I hope you asked Santa for another unnecessary remake (Unmarked Spoilers) Why did this movie have to be called Black Christmas? Yes, it’s a slasher movie set during Christmas and about a sorority, but beyond that, the two films have so little in common that I don’t know why this couldn’t have been made as a …
Ta tatatatta tatatat ta tatata ta tatata
After 42 years, it all leads up to this…until Star Wars Episode X Palpatine’s back b*****s. How? The force, I guess…does it matter? This way, we don’t have to deal with a whole movie of Kylo Ren (Adam Driver). I know he thinks his Uncle Luke (Mark Hamil) was going to kill him, but that …
Number’s up
And then there were… Jesus, look at the cast of this movie. You have master detective Bond, James Bond (Daniel Craig) investigating the death of Captain Von Trapp (Christopher Plummer). The suspects include (deep breathe) Captain America (Chris Evans), Joi (Ana de Armas), Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), John Givings, Jr. (NSFW)(Michael Shannon), Sonny Crockett (Don Johnson), …
To die, to sleep
A sequel that the filmmakers don’t want to call a sequel. The novel version of Doctor Sleep starts with Danny (Roger Dale Floyd) before introducing our new villains. The adaption of Doctor Sleep does the opposite because having a bunch of energy vampires called the True Knot eating a child’s shining by torturing them to death is a more …
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