Let's Cee a Movie

Rot Und Schwarz

A disappointing follow-up to a great horror hybrid (Spoilers)

Onslaught is about three super soldiers escaping from captivity and attacking the residents of a trailer park. It hails from writer Simon Barrett and director Adam Wingard, who previously made The Guest, which is about a renegade super soldier. After playing coy, Wingard did confirm that Onslaught is a stealth sequel to The Guest. Or as much of a stealth sequel as it could be when everyone immediately said, ‘this totally takes place in the same universe as The Guest.’

Mean Girls Duet

The original is so fetch while the musical is pretty good too (Spoilers)

Mean Girls is a 2004 cult classic that’s based on the non-fiction book Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. The screenplay was written by Tina Fey, who also played the supporting character Ms. Norbury. Since then, the film was adapted into a musical in 2017, which was also adapted into a film in 2024. The latter is an adaptation of an adaptation of an adaptation (try and say that five times fast).

Masquerade

A great genre blend with strong lead performances (Spoilers)

Anna Peterson (Maika Monroe) is a young woman whose family is reeling from the death of her older brother, Caleb (Chris Harding). Her parents, Spencer (Leland Orser) and Laura (Sheila Kelley), invite a handsome stranger to stay with them. The guest (Dan Stevens) introduces himself as David Collins and says he served with Caleb, promising him that he would look after the family. However, it isn’t long before Anna realizes that he’s not who he says he is.

RE Fury Road

A film that captures the vibe of the games (Spoilers)

Bryan (Austin Abrams) is a medical courier who’s offered a last-minute opportunity to deliver a mysterious package to Raccoon City General. Bryan agrees after he’s promised double pay, though avoiding a serious, face-to-face conversation with his pregnant girlfriend, Michelle (Sara Paxton), is implied to be another factor. However, the latter becomes the least of his concerns when he encounters the walking dead (NSFW).

Your New Friend Until The End

A wild ride that’s funny and disturbing (spoilers)

Buddy the Unicorn (Keegan-Michael Key, Sergey Zhuravsky) is the star of It’s Buddy!, a children’s show best described as if Barney the Dinosaur lived at Pee-wee’s Playhouse. One of the kids on the show is Freddy (Delaney Quinn), who’s the first to pick up on that Buddy, to quote Toy Story 3, “may seem plush and huggable on the outside, but inside, he’s a monster.” Soon, the other kids realize it as well, leading to an escape attempt.

Cluedo

A hilarious cult classic (minor spoilers)

Clue is a 1985 cult classic that’s based on the board game of the same name, as long as you play the North American edition. Set in 1954, it’s about a group of strangers who have gathered at an isolated manor when the owner of the house, Mr. Boddy (Lee Ving), winds up dead. The guests, led by the butler, Wadsworth (Tim Curry), must then determine who killed Mr. Boddy. A task made more complicated because every character has a motive.

Blood and Puppets

An fun B-movie that could have had better characterization (spoilers)

Following the death of his parents, James (Cameron Bell) was sent to live with his grandfather Geppetto (Richard Brake), only for his best friend, Zach (Elliott Spilling), to die shortly afterwards as well. That’s explained in an animated prologue, which has become a tradition in the Twisted Childhood Universe. At the same time, it would have been nice to see some of that. Anyway, Geppetto builds Pinocchio (Jude Evan Lloyd), saying it’s so James can have a best friend who will never die.

The Devil Still Wears Prada

A fine, if nostalgia-heavy sequel (spoilers)

Two decades after the last movie, Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) is still the editor-in-chief of Runway. She’s recently come under fire for publishing a positive piece about a company that’s actually a sweatshop. Irv Ravitz (Tibor Feldman), the owner of Runway’s parent company, Elias-Clarke, decides to hire Miranda’s former second assistant, Andi Sachs (Anne Hathaway), to be the features editor as a PR move.

Blood and Venison

The TCU’s first monster movie is doe not good (spoilers)

The fourth instalment of the Twisted Childhood Universe mixes things up by being a creature feature instead of a slasher. Bambi is a normal deer whose mother was killed by hunters, and his mate, Faline, is struck by a truck dumping toxic waste into the forest. After drinking from a contaminated stream, Bambi mutates into a killing machine.

Unwritten

A cute, if unoriginal Disney movie (minor spoilers)

Casey Carlyle (Michelle Trachtenberg) is a high school student who seeks to obtain the Helen Stoller Physics Scholarship to get into Harvard, but needs to pick a personal subject. Since she has an interest in ice skating, she decides to analyze the movement of figure skaters in relation to physics. That eventually leads to Casey realizing that she would like to compete as a skater in an upcoming competition.