Good thing I started the year with Little Women, because… I hate this movie. As someone who didn’t like Hereditary, writer/director Ari Aster’s previous film, I wasn’t expecting to like this movie, and it exceeded my expectations in that department. Because not only do I hate this movie, but it’s that particular kind of hate that …
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The joys of having a sister
A good movie to start the year off with Little Women follows the lives of four sisters who are, of course, the little women of the title. Jo (Saoirse Ronan) wants to be a writer. Meg (Emma Watson) is a poor housewife. Amy (Florence Pugh) is under pressure to marry rich to take care of the rest …
Two movies that won’t leave you foaming at the mouth
A horror retrospective. Rabid (1977) is a movie from director David Cronenberg, whose films are well known for their body horror and sexual weirdness. The premise is that following a motorcycle accident that her boyfriend Hart Read (Frank Moore) got into for no discernable reason, Rose (Marilyn Chambers) is taken to a nearby plastic surgery clinic for treatment. There …
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Twas the night before Christmas…
I hope you asked Santa for another unnecessary remake (Unmarked Spoilers) Why did this movie have to be called Black Christmas? Yes, it’s a slasher movie set during Christmas and about a sorority, but beyond that, the two films have so little in common that I don’t know why this couldn’t have been made as a …
Ta tatatatta tatatat ta tatata ta tatata
After 42 years, it all leads up to this…until Star Wars Episode X Palpatine’s back b*****s. How? The force, I guess…does it matter? This way, we don’t have to deal with a whole movie of Kylo Ren (Adam Driver). I know he thinks his Uncle Luke (Mark Hamil) was going to kill him, but that …
Number’s up
And then there were… Jesus, look at the cast of this movie. You have master detective Bond, James Bond (Daniel Craig) investigating the death of Captain Von Trapp (Christopher Plummer). The suspects include (deep breathe) Captain America (Chris Evans), Joi (Ana de Armas), Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), John Givings, Jr. (NSFW)(Michael Shannon), Sonny Crockett (Don Johnson), …
To die, to sleep
A sequel that the filmmakers don’t want to call a sequel. The novel version of Doctor Sleep starts with Danny (Roger Dale Floyd) before introducing our new villains. The adaption of Doctor Sleep does the opposite because having a bunch of energy vampires called the True Knot eating a child’s shining by torturing them to death is a more …
DUNDUN DUN DUNDUN
How many versions of the same movie are we going to get? (Unmarked Spoilers) After Halloween, I have another franchise that seems to be as unstoppable as its main villain — consisting of The Terminator, the one that started it all. Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the unquestioned apex of the series that has almost everything you could want …
The night he came home, three times
A holiday retrospective. Halloween (1978) is one of those movies that has a massive impact on the genre. Much like Suspiria (1977), there’s not really any character development, and the little plot in the film is basically an excuse for great music and atmosphere. Here’s the whole plot in a nutshell. Murderer Michael Myers (Nick Castle, Tony Moran, …
Cool party bro
I assume killer party was too obvious a title Casper (Sam Strike) is a young thief just trying to get him and his dad out of their lousy neighborhood. Then his dad ends up getting in deep with a loan shark. Desperate, Casper decides to rob this wealthy family, the Dawsons, during a party they’re …
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