Ethan Kopek (Taron Egerton) is a TSA worker at LAX who’s recently learned that his girlfriend Nora Parisi (Sofia Carson), who works as a manager at the same airport, is pregnant. Working the baggage-scanning area during a Christmas Eve shift, Ethan starts getting orders from a mysterious traveler, who tells him to let a piece of carry-on luggage go through or else they’ll kill Nora. This premise sounds familiar.
Continue reading “Die Harder”
We’ve got another really spoilery review on our hands, so, as usual, let me start with my conclusion. I would highly recommend watching Lowlifes. The cast’s performances were great, as was the way the movie keeps you guessing. And the best part is that since it’s a Tubi Original, it’s free for anyone to watch. Of course, that means there’s ads, but that’s a relatively small price to pay.
Continue reading “A Family Movie”
Halloween II (1981) occurs on the same night as the previous film. Halloween II (2009) initially seems like it’s going to follow the same path, but after a lengthy bait-and-switch nightmare sequence, it picks up two years later. For clarity, I’ve reviewed the theatrical cut of ’81, but the director’s cut of ’09. The latter is much closer to the director’s vision after he got jerked around a lot by the Weinsteins.
Continue reading “Halloween IIs”
Azrael takes place in one of those apocalyptic worlds where gasoline has a much longer shelf life than in reality because the characters can still drive “Many years after the Rapture.” The title character (Samara Weaving) is a young woman on the run from her former congregation – a cult muted themselves due to the “sin of Speech.” Azrael has to avoid them and the Burned Ones, these Clicker-like monsters.
Continue reading “A Quiet Rapture”
A slasher movie that earned a lot of buzz last year was Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey. It kicked off a new phase of turning beloved children’s characters and turning them into slasher villains, typically after they’ve entered the public domain. Despite abysmal reviews, it grossed a lot of money and created yet another cinematic universe. So, let’s see if the Twisted Childhood Universe is off to a good start.
Continue reading “Sanguis et Mel”
‘Salem’s Lot (1975) was Stephen King’s second published novel and the first of his work to be adapted to television. That would be the 1979 miniseries. It was adapted for television again in 2004. The film version, which I’ll be covering, was originally supposed to have a theatrical release on September 9, 2022, but after a long delay, it was finally released in theaters…in the United Kingdom and Ireland. It went straight to Max for American viewers.
Continue reading “‘Salem’s Lot Missing A Whole Lot”
Maya Lucas (Madelaine Petsch) is on a cross-country trip with her boyfriend Ryan (Froy Gutierrez) when their car breaks down, and they decide to stay the night at an isolated Airbnb. There, they are menaced by three masked strangers in an almost beat-for-beat retelling of the 2008 film. To be fair, the filmmakers made it clear ahead of this movie’s release that that would be the case, while the other two chapters of the trilogy would be bolder.
Continue reading “TSC1”
Terrifier 3 jumps ahead five years after the previous installment, bringing the series timeline up to the present day. Sienna Shaw (Lauren LaVera) has spent that time in and out of a mental hospital but is dispatched just in time for Christmas. As luck or fate would have it, that’s also when Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton) goes on another killing spree.
Continue reading “Clowning Around Part 3”
Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder), still living under the shadow of Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton), is now the host of a paranormal reality show and the mother of Astrid (Jenna Ortega), a moody teenager from whom Lydia is estranged. Delia (Catherine O’Hara), Lydia’s stepmother, frequently points out the irony. Lydia’s father, Charles (Jeffery Jones), meanwhile, dies of a bad case of being played by a sex offender.
Continue reading “Beetlejuice Squared”
Elliot Labrant (Maisy Stella) is a Canadian teenager who, on her 18th birthday, decides to do shrooms with her friends. After doing so, she meets her future self (Audrey Plaza). Initially, it seems like a hallucination, but Elliot eventually discovers evidence that she’s real. How and why this time travel works isn’t explained, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is the advice that Older Elliot ends up giving.
Continue reading “Talking To Yourself”
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