Businesswoman Angela Bridges (Rachel Nichols) is on her way to a family Christmas party when she’s knocked unconscious by her building’s parking attendant, Thomas Barclay (Wes Bentley). She wakes up with her hair down, changed into a cleavage-bearing white dress, with heavier makeup on, being subject to one of, if not the, worst first dates in the history of cinema. However, I use the term “date” loosely.
Continue reading “Blue Christmas”
Oh. What. Fun is a new comedy that has Michelle Pfeiffer suffer her worst Christmas since Batman Returns. She plays the matriarch of a large family, Claire Clauster, who includes her husband, Nick (Denis Leary), and three kids. Channing (Felicity Jones), the oldest and the only one with a family of her own, Taylor (Chloë Grace Moretz), who brings a new girlfriend home every Christmas, and Sammy (Dominic Sessa), who recently got dumped by his own girlfriend Mae-Bell (Maude Apatow), which is even worse than having to spend the season with Paul Giamatti.
Continue reading “One horse open sleigh to hell”
Silent Night, Deadly Night is a 1984 slasher film released during the rise of moral guardianship. As such, it was very controversial because it featured a killer dressed as Santa Claus. However, all that free publicity worked in the movie’s favor, as it made a lot of money at the box office and on VHS despite being pulled from theaters.
Continue reading “Slayride”
Wicked: For Good, formerly Wicked: Part Two, adapts the second half of the stage musical, which in turn was an adaptation of Gregory Maguire’s novel of the same name. I highly recommend reading my review of the previous film, if only because the synopsis of this movie gives away several important plot twists.
Continue reading “Wicked: Part Two”
The Running Man is a 1982 novel by Stephen King, written under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. The book is set in 2025 and tells the tale of a dystopian America that’s steadily imploding due to a corrupt government, weaponized media, economic inequality, and pollution caused by unregulated capitalism. Thank God real life isn’t like that, because that would be terrifying.
Continue reading “The Long Run”
I Know What You Did Last Summer is a 1997 slasher film that was written by Kevin Williamson, who also wrote Scream (1996) and created Dawson’s Creek. It’s based on the novel of the same name by Lois Duncan, which I didn’t bother to read because it’s a loose adaptation. There have been three subsequent films and one TV show. For this review, I’ll be focusing on the three most interconnected films that form a trilogy. Unless they make more sequels—which I doubt—but they probably will now that I’ve written that.
Continue reading “Julie James Trilogy”
Dek (Dimitrius Schuster-Kolomatangi) is a young Yautja who’s the runt of his clan, so he’s much smaller than past predators. Such as OG Kevin Peter Hall, who made 6’2” Arnold Schwarzenegger look short (NSFW). To prove himself, Dek travels to a death world named Genna to hunt the Kalisk, which no other predator has been able to kill. Along the way, Dek meets Thia (Elle Fanning), a Weyland-Yunai synthetic who lost the lower half of her body due to the Kalisk.
Continue reading “Chewbacca and C-3PO: The Movie”
Queens of the Dead was looking for zombie volunteers or “zombiteers” to fill out the horde, and I was one of them. Last year, I volunteered to be in the movie. Over email, I was also told several caveats. Among other things, there would be no compensation, no reimbursement for travel expenses, and, due to various factors, no guarantee of actually being in the movie. Though you would still be in the credits.
Continue reading “My Zombie Experience”
Dre (Katy O’Brian) is a gay club promoter who’s facing some hardships because most of her acts are jumping ship for a hotter gay club. Dre is forced to call upon the assistance of Sam (Jaquel Spivey), a former drag queen who was part of Dre’s crew prior to a falling out. As if they didn’t have enough problems, that’s when the zombie outbreak starts.
Continue reading “Romero Zombie Movie”
After the attempt to turn the series into an anthology didn’t work out, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers does exactly what the subtitle says it does. It brings back the boogeyman, this time without John Carpenter. This entry is notable as the first film in the series without Carpenter’s involvement. Much like Halloween (2018), the broad strokes of the plot are identical to the original, although it differs in some specific details.
Continue reading “The Boogeyman’s Return”
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