Let's Cee a Movie

You’ve got a friend in me

**I know I should be mad at them for taking shots at Toy Story, but I thought this one was actually pretty funny**

Before I go on, I feel the need to say just one thing. Which is that since to some legal mumbo jumbo that I didn’t care enough to research the specifics of, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer has been allowed to remake Child’s Play due to retaining the rights to the original movie. Even though the original franchise is still ongoing and has been going strong enough that series writer/creator/director Don Mancini has been talking about making another sequel and/or a television series with star Brad Dourif. So now this new franchise is potentially going to be competing with the original. That is so not cool, and it violates the number one rule of remakes. (NSFW) As both a fan of the original and movies in general, I feel obligated to hate this movie. For the record, if this were any other film, I would say that overall, this movie’s fine.

One Good Mother

One Good Mother? Are you serious? That’s terrible. I’m going to need to fire my joke person (Unmarked Spoilers)

Following an apocalyptic disaster, a lone robot called Mother (motion capture by Luke Hawker, voiced by Rose Byrne) sets about repopulation the human race. Raising Daughter (Clara Rugaard) from a small embryo, all is peaceful, and we’re treated to several cute scenes of mother-daughter interactions. At least until the arrival of the Woman (Hilary Swank), which shouldn’t even be possible due to the outside supposedly being plagued by a virus. At least that’s what Mother said. Woman says that the thing that’s wiping everybody out is machines like Mother.

An enjoyable case of déjà vu

Olivia Wilde sets the bar high with her directorial debut

This movie is very similar to Superbad. Yeah, I’m sure I just blew your mind with that observation. I bet I’m the only person to have realized that. Interestingly, watching Booksmart and Superbad is a good exercise in seeing how society has constructed gender. The main character of both films are insufferable, but for reasons that are total opposites. Seth (Jonah Hill) is that annoying person who doesn’t care about his grades because he’d rather spend his time thinking about sex. Molly (Beanie Feldstein) is that annoying person who talks about nothing but how perfect they are at everything. A contrast made more significant by the fact that the actors are brother and sister. Now can you imagine how well there characters switching traits would be? Would you find it a little strange?

Prepare for War

All he needs are lots of guns a Matrix reference

Before I go on, let’s back up a little and go over all the bad decisions made in-universe that have brought us to this point. So, Isoef Tarasov (Alfie Allen) is the son of this New York mob boss Viggo (Michael Nyqvist) and a total moron. How much of a moron might you ask? Well, he and his friends seem to be the only people within a hundred-mile radius who don’t realize that the man whose car they just stole and whose dog they killed is legendary bada*s John Wick (Keanu Reeves)(NSFW), which leads to the events of the first movie.

To think, I was just a small child when Iron Man came out

I can’t believe that makes me feel old (Unmarked Spoilers)

Thanos (Josh Brolin) has killed off half the universe, and there’s no hope in sight. Except, could the answer possibly lie in the time vortex that Michelle Pfeiffer mentioned at the very end of Ant-Man and the Wasp? I’m not spoiler tagging anything in this review, but even if I were, I still wouldn’t label that. I assume that you’re smart enough to figure that one out.

Hey ho, let’s go…again

I hope you like remakes, because I have a feeling we’re about to get a lot more

Normally I’d start my review with a basic outline of what happens before going into my thoughts and feelings. Except, given that the advertising wasn’t exactly shy about telling you what the plot is for both this movie and the original, I don’t think that’s necessary. Instead, I’m just going to launch right into the good and bad qualities of this movie.

One Captain Marvel movie down, one to go

Thankfully, this one doesn’t have any floss dancing in it

The thing I enjoyed most about this movie is that it wasn’t your typical superhero origin story movie. The film starts with the main character already as a superhero while Captain Marvel’s (Brie Larson) origin story is unfolded slowly as the movie goes on, kind of like in Batman (1989). We don’t even learn that her Earth name is Carol Danvers until midway through the film.

You should have just quit when you were ahead Rowling

Witness a film that lacks the magic that made the previous entries so special

The movie begins with public enemy #1 Gellert Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) escaping from prison. Why, because they chose to lock up the most dangerous wizard in the whole world as opposed to, you know, executing him for his numerous crimes. Plus, this whole big, boring, action sequence that opens the movie seems a little unnecessary, because we all knew Grindelwald was going to escape, or else there’d be no plot. Did we need to see how he did it?

Happy birthday to me–wait, that’s a different movie

A horror movie sequel that’s a little hard to explain without giving something away

Happy Death Day 2U is the follow up to Happy Death Day, one of the many films that came out alongside the great horror movie resurgence of 2017. Other examples include It, Split, and of course, Get Out. Both Happy Death Day films lean more towards the comedy genre to an extent greater than those other films. Rivaled only really by Get Out, a movie that did get funny (NSFW) every once despite it’s dark subject matter. Not that I’m saying that Happy Death Day is in any way a better movie than Get Out.

This is the sequel I’ve waited 14 years for?

Just to be clear, it’s not that the movie’s bad, it’s just that it’s…disappointing

The Parr family is back, in this long-awaited sequel to the 2004 animated classic. Continuing right where the original film left off, Mr.Incredible (Craig T. Nelson), Elastigirl (Holly Hunter), Violet (Sarah Vowell), Dash (Huck Milner), and Jack-Jack (Eli Fucile and Nicholas Bird) wind up in hot water after failing to stop there latest supervillain. Enter sibling team Winston (Bob Odenkirk) and Evelyn Deavor (Catherine Keener), who come to them with a plan to lift the ban on superheroes. Except, what’s this, the Deavors don’t want Mr. Incredible to be their spokesperson. Instead, they want Elastigirl?