Abraham’s Boys is an adaptation of a short story of the same name by Joe Hill. Abraham Van Helsing (Titus Welliver) has relocated to California with his wife, Mina Van Helsing (née Murray, formerly Harker) (Jocelin Donahue), and their two sons, Max (Brady Hepner) and Rudy (Judah Mackey). The short story has frequently been compared to Frailty, which I recommend watching before reading the rest of this review.
Continue reading “A Van Helsing Story”
In the latest installment of the Twisted Childhood Universe, Peter Pan (Martin Portlock) is now a cross between Pennywise and the Grabber (though the two are more similar than Joe Hill had intended). He abducts boys to send them to Neverland for a higher power who is implied to be the bogeyman. Part of his modus operandi is calling his victims’ families, playing the song “Hush, Hush, Here Comes the Bogeyman,” and telling them that he has taken their child to Neverland.
Continue reading “Blood and Pixie Dust”
The Jester (2023) and The Jester 2 are both based on a trilogy of short films, all directed by Colin Krawchuk and starring Michael Sheffield. Each installment is about a sinister entity that’s traded the classic jester outfit for a snazzy orange suit and top hat. If I were the Jester (Sheffield), I would have gone with a coat borrowed from James Dean and a thorny crown, but to each his own.
Continue reading “The Jester Combo”
In a dystopian world that may or may not be the ’70s, the United States has started a nationwide contest called the Long Walk. Two of this year’s participants are Ray Garraty (Copper Hoffman) and Pete McVries (David Jonsson). The winner of the contest gets rich and one wish. The losers are shot and killed by a squad of soldiers led by the Major (Mark Hamill).
Continue reading “The Walking Man”
Red Sonja (2025) stars a character who was originally created by Robert E. Howard, but was revamped by Roy Thomas for a Marvel, later Dynamite, comic book series. It’s also the second film adaptation of the material after a 1985 movie starring Brigitte Nielsen. I’ll tell you right off the bat that this new version is better than the Nielsen film, which, for me, straddled the line between being bad and enjoyably bad.
Continue reading “Sonja, Not Sonya”
Winston Gooze (Peter Dinglage) is a janitor struggling to raise his son, Wade (Jacob Tremblay), on his own. One day, he discovers that he has a potentially deadly brain disease that his insurance doesn’t cover. After his boss, corrupt businessman Bob Garbinger (Kevin Bacon), refuses to help him, Winston takes matters into his own hands by robbing his place of business. This inadvertently leads to his transformation into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength (Luisa Guerreiro).
In the early hours of one Wednesday morning, seventeen kids in the same third-grade class inexplicably get out of bed and run off into the night. With no one else to blame, the teacher of said class, Justine Gandy (Julia Garner), ends up becoming a scapegoat for most of the town. And that’s all I can tell you without spoiling something, which I try not to do in the first paragraphs of my reviews.
Continue reading “Airplane Arms”
A part of me doesn’t even know why I’m writing this review because the discourse surrounding this movie has been exhausting, thanks mainly to a certain group of people deciding that they hated the film before it even came out. It’s tempting for me to declare that Zack Snyder has the most toxic fan base of all time, but I really shouldn’t be judging since I’m a Star Wars fan. With that off my chest, here’s my two cents on Superman (2025) for whatever it’s worth.
Continue reading “Punkrocker”
Violet Gates (Meghann Fahy) is a single mother who has finally started dating again after many years. Her date for the evening is the charming and hunky Henry Campbell (Brandon Sklenar). Except, on the date, Violet starts receiving air drops from a mysterious stranger with the handle “Let’s_Play,” who orders her to kill Henry or else Violet’s son, Toby (Jacob Robinson), and sister/babysitter, Jen (Violett Beane).
Continue reading “Air”
Spike (Alfie Williams) is a young boy who lives in the British Isles with his father, Jaime (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), and his mother, Isla (Jodie Comer). The island the family lives on offers a sanctuary from the hordes of people infected with the Rage virus on the mainland. The virus has also since mutated, as the infected are not only smarter across the board, but they’re also different variants besides the bog-standard Fast Ones.
Continue reading “East Hastings”
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