Welcome boils and ghouls

Before comics became known for superheroes, they were horror stories

For those of you who don’t know, Creepshow was a 1982 cult classic that was a throwback to old EC horror comics like Tales from the Crypt or The Haunt of Fear. Directed by George A. Romero, written by Stephen King, special effects done by Tom Savini, and a cast including Tom Atkins, Ed Harris, Leslie Nielsen, Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, and King himself (yes, that’s really him). Followed by a sequel in 1987 and another sequel in 2006. Unlike the first two, I have not seen Creepshow 3, but by all accounts, that’s a good thing. (NSFW)          

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I told you I’d go back to horror

J. Lo will just have to wait (Unmarked Spoilers)

The thing with this blog is that this isn’t my job. This is something that I do for fun. Which means I have to pay to see films out of my pocket, which means that there’s only a finite amount of movies that I can afford to see in theatres. Recently I came to a crossroads where I could only afford to see either Hustlers  or The Shining (1980) back in theatres.

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Shining, shimmering splendid

Well, this was a nice palate cleanser. Now I can go back to watching horror.

This movie made my opinion of The Lion King  remake sink even further because I see now that film was way more a soulless cash grab than I previously thought. It was virtually a shot-for-shot remake of the original. Say what you want about this new version of Aladdin and the Will Smith genie, but at least it’s not almost the exact same thing. “Arabian Nights” has a different staging and it’s phenomenal in this version because it’s a long take that introduces all of the main characters. Aladdin (2019) also expands on the backstories and/or motivations of the characters to a far better extent than Lion King (2019).

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That giant shadow hanging over the film is from the previous movie

This film feels repetitive in way I don’t remember the novel or miniseries being (Unmarked Spoilers)

It: Chapter Two opens with an all too real-life horror. Where Adrian Mellon (Xavier Dolan) becomes the victim of a brutal, homophobic hate crime befalls. Sadly, that’s something that’s just as relevant today as it was in the 1980s when the book was published. You almost hope that Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård) shows up soon. Almost.

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What’s your favorite scary tv show?

The fact that doesn’t have the same ring to it is an apt metaphor for the show itself.

Why am I writing a tv show review on a movie website? Because there is a whole world of movies that have branched out into television that need to be covered. Such as the third season of the Scream tv series. Which also has a brand new subtitle. 

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Is it Rocketman or Rocket Man?

No, seriously. I’m confused.

Rocketman tells the “true” story of a gay, British musician and the trials and turbulences that come with a life of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. Coming right off the heels of Bohemian Rhapsody, a movie with the same premise and director Dexter Fletcher. Or at least the parts that weren’t already shot by Bryan Singer.

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The most dangerous game

Here I come…

After getting married, beautiful bride Grace (Samara Weaving) learns that she’ll have to play a game of hide and seek with her new in-laws, the Le Domas family. But to her horror, she quickly realizes the meaning of the awful pun I make in the title of this review. Now, to the family’s credit, Grace is given the opportunity of backing out of getting married multiple times. Even if they don’t mention what the consequences are going to be.

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The burn is bright

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a–run for your life.

Get ready to be meet Brandon Breyer (Jackson A. Dunn), who has one of those sweet, alliterate names that rolls right off the tongue. Like Clark Kent or Lex Luthor or Michael Meyers. He’s brilliant too because despite not paying attention in class, he’s immediately able to rattle off how wasps are more violent than bees and engage in brood parasitism or some other foreshadowing mumbo jumbo like that. Because saying Brandon’s not from around here is a colossal understatement.

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It’s a scary story made up of many scary stories

This ought to tide me over until It: Chapter Two

After a chance encounter with newcomer Ramón (Michael Garza), a trio of friends consisting of Stella (Zoe Colletti), Auggie (Gabriel Rush), and Tommy (Austin Abrams) decide to show him the local haunted house. Home to Sarah Bellows (Kathleen Pollard), who according to legend, would tell children scary stories from her special book. A book that Stella decides to take with her. Calling that decision a mistake would be an understatement.

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You will never guess what happens

I hope you like politics along with your romance

Fred Flasrsky (Seth Rogen) is a bleeding heart journalist with an uncanny knack of surviving falls that would kill or incapacitate an average person. One day he quits/gets fired after the new owner of his newspaper ends up being the embodiment of everything he hates about America. Said new owner is media mogul Parker Wembley (Andy Serkis), the love child of Steve Bannon and Gollum.

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