Let's Cee a Movie

Girlboss

She steals because she cares.

Marla Grayson (Rosamund Pike) is a legal guardian who gets her elderly wards assigned to assisted living facilities to sell off their house and belongings while also stealing their life savings. That is so appalling yet legal, you know there is a 100% chance of it happening in real life. One day, Marla bites off a bit more than she can chew with Jennifer Peterson (Dianne Wiest), who ends up being the mother of Russian gangster Roman Lunyov (Peter Dinklage).

You complete me

This type of Cyrano scheme never goes wrong. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis) is a high school senior who, for a price, writes her classmates papers as part of what seems to be an open secret. One day, Paul Munsky (Daniel Diemer) approaches her with a request that’s a little different. He wants her to write a love letter to the girl he has a crush on, Aster Flores (Alexxis Lemire). Ellie agrees because she needs the money, but complications occur because Ellie also likes Aster.

Knotted up

You think you know someone. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Tyler Burnside (Charlie Plummer) is the teenage son of boy scout leader and pillar of the community Don Burnside (Dylan McDermott). After borrowing his dad’s truck, Tyler discovers a piece of bondage porn. His curiosity piqued, he keeps digging and uncovers evidence that Don might be the Clovehitch Killer, a serial killer who just disappeared years ago. To figure out the truth, he teams up with Kassi (Madisen Beaty), a girl his age who has a deep interest in the Clovehitch case.

Who’s your daddy?

If you think that sounds creepy, good. These are two creepy movies. (Unmarked Spoilers)

The Stepfather (1987) is about an unnamed serial killer (Terry O’Quinn) who’d marry single mothers, only to kill his new family when they inevitably fail to live up to his Leave it to Beaver aspirations. He is currently married to Susan Main (Shelley Hack) and her daughter Stephanie (Jill Schoelen), whose father died a year before the movie’s events. Oh Stephanie, they served the leftover food from your father’s funeral at your mother’s wedding. Prince Hamlet feels your pain.

Ex-Couple Goals

And through their strange hours. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Strange Days is the 1995 cult classic that put director Kathryn Bigelow’s career on life support until she rebounded with The Hurt Locker. In the then-future, two days prior to Y2K, Strange Days is the tale of civil unrest, militant police forces, racial tension, and a high crime rate. You know, kind of like what’s happening right now, Except for how we don’t have the Superconducting Quantum Interference Device or SQUID for short. A device that lets you relive the memories of yourself or others.

Another game?!

When will this all end?

Ezekiel “Zeke” Banks (Chris Rock) is a cop who plays by his own rules and who doesn’t work with no partner because the rest of the precinct thinks he’s a rat. Yes, he is the coppiest cop in all of fictionland. Zeke must solve the case of a Jigsaw copycat killer who wants to play a game with the departments’ corrupt officers. To do so, he must work with his new partner William Schenk (Max Minghella). Meanwhile, Samuel L. Jackson is wasted playing Zeke’s former police captain father, Marcus.

Viva

This movie is not what I thought it would be. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Scott Ward (Dave Bautista) must assemble a team to perform a daring casino heist. First, they must sneak into a quarantine Las Vegas, avoiding the numerous undead, switch on the casino generators, break into the uncrackable vault, make their way to the casino roof with the abandoned helicopter, and fly away before the whole city gets nuked. Yes, that is their entire plan, and only one person points out how utterly crazy the whole thing is.

The joys of motherhood III: And now for something completely different

Much better than actually eating eggs.

Karen (Christina Hendricks) and her husband Don (David Alan Basche) decide to have lunch with Tina (Alyssa Reiner), an old art school friend of Karen’s. In trying to one-up her friend, Tina reveals that she and her husband Wayne (Gbenga Akinnagbe) are going to have a baby. Except as opposed to Tina giving birth, her egg has been implanted in a surrogate, Kiki (Anna Camp), who will also be the child’s mother. What they’re going to do is dismantle the traditional family unit in favor of a more shared economy with a redistribution of roles that doesn’t make any sense until Tina says she’s going to be like the child’s nanny.

What’cha mean walk the earth?

As the opening scroll explains, following a reduced demand for sheetrock, Empire, Nevada shut down its plant and turned into a ghost town. After this and the death of her husband, Fern (Frances McDormand) decides to sell off most of her belongings and become a nomad. She travels all around the country, working various odd jobs and meeting plenty of new people.

Odysseus

Meet mid-life crisis John Wick.

In a past life, Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk) used to be an “auditor” for various US government agencies, which is similar to how Frank Sheeran used to paint houses for the mob. Now Hutch is a suburban family man with a wife named Becca (Connie Nielsen), two beautiful kids (Gage Munroe and Paisley Cadorath), and a humdrum life driving him crazy. Though all of that starts to change the night his home gets broken into by two thieves.