Ain’t we got fun

The movie’s precisely what the title implies. (Unmarked Spoilers) The year is 1983. Joel (Evan Marsh) is a reporter for a horror movie magazine who has an unrequited crush on his roommate, Sarah (Alexa Rose Steele). One night he decides to follow Sarah’s latest date, Bob (Ari Millen), to a bar to record him saying …

Jenny Jenny, you’re the girl for me

This wasn’t quite what I was expecting. (Unmarked Spoilers) Jennifer’s Body is a horror-comedy initially released in 2009. I remember watching this movie and not liking it, which was true for a lot of people. The film received mixed reviews and was a box office failure. In recent years, people’s opinions have become much more …

The Extra-Terrestrial

What a great piece of movie nostalgia. One day siblings Mimi (Nita-Josée Hanna) and Luke (Owen Myre) discover an ancient sarcophagus buried in their backyard. It contains an alien overlord they nickname Psycho Goreman (Matthew Ninaber, voiced by Steven Vlahos), or PG for short. Eons ago, he was imprisoned by the Templars before he could …

Lovely Day

Do these two have photographic memories? (Unmarked Spoilers) Mark (Kyle Allen) is a teen boy stuck in a time loop repeating the same day over and over again. One day he meets Margaret (Kathryn Newton), a girl his age who’s stuck in the time loop with him. After some convincing, Mark teams up with Margaret …

Do you believe you can fly?

“There is no way that LeBron will ever be Jordan. Nobody will ever be Jordan, okay.” -Russell Gettis, Bad Teacher (Unmarked Spoilers) Al-G Rhythm (Don Cheadle) is the Warner Bros. server algorithm (get it?). When he’s not ruling over the Serververs, he’s busy conducting an idea that will finally get him the respect he thinks …

The Dirty not Dozen

Let’s all pretend the first movie never happened. (Unmarked Spoilers) Task Force X or the Suicide Squad is a group of supervillains sent into nigh unsurvivable scenarios in exchange for time off their prison sentences. The Squad’s mission this time around is to infiltrate the nation of Corto Maltese and destroy Project Starfish, aka Starro …

Scary Movies

What’s your favorite? (Unmarked Spoilers) Scream and its first three sequels were a series of slasher movies that horror master Wes Craven directed. Instead of sticking two or more reviews under a single post like I usually do with franchises, I decided to instead look at the series up to this point. I hoped that …

Alternative Facts

Happy 4th everyone. Following the President of the United States coming under fire for acting inappropriately against a “Firefly Girl,” Conrad Brean (Robert De Niro) is brought in to do damage control. To that end, Brean enlists Hollywood producer Stanley Motss (Dustin Hoffman) to manufacture a fake war with Albania to get the American public …

You complete me

This type of Cyrano scheme never goes wrong. (Unmarked Spoilers) Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis) is a high school senior who, for a price, writes her classmates papers as part of what seems to be an open secret. One day, Paul Munsky (Daniel Diemer) approaches her with a request that’s a little different. He wants her …

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