His thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth (Spoilers) Amleth (Oscar Novak) is a young Viking prince who’s the son of King Aurvandill War-Raven (Ethan Hawke) and Queen Gudrún (Nicole Kidman). One day, Aurvandill and Amelth are ambushed by men working for Fjölnir (Claes Bang), Aurvandill’s brother. Amleth manages to escape, but his father is …
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Cherry, Cherry baby
The one horror movie where you don’t want to keep it in your pants (Unmarked Spoilers) Jody Marken (Brittany Murphy) is the daughter of local Sheriff Brent Marken (Michael Biehn) and the final girl of Cherry Falls, a slasher movie from the early 2000s. Though not by virtue of being the only virgin in the …
The G*****n Batman
It’s “I am,” not “I’m” (Unmarked Spoilers) After multiple delays, The Batman has finally arrived. Starting as a vehicle for Ben Affleck’s version of the character, it eventually became its own separate thing. Robert Patterson plays a Batman who’s able to delve into the character’s detective side more than previous versions. He unravels a complex, …
Dither
Where are all the superheroes? (Unmarked Spoilers) Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion) is the chief of police in Wheesly and has been carrying a torch for his childhood friend Starla (Elizabeth Banks) for years. Starla is a schoolteacher molding young minds like Kylie Strutemyer (Tania Saulnier). Starla’s also married to an older, wealthier, and less attractive …
Face to face
Another day, another chainsaw massacre. (Unmarked Spoilers) Melody (Sarah Yarkin) is a young chef who has traveled to a small town of Harlowe along with her younger sister Lila (Elsie Fisher) and others. They’re planning on auctioning off the property of the town, but then they meet Virginia (Alice Krige), a resident still living in …
The saw remains the same
Phew, now I’m all caught up (Unmarked Spoilers) The article which you are about to read is an account of eight horror films spanning six decades. Each installment concerns the exploits of the masked killer Leatherface and his murderous family. In light of a new entry coming out in less than a week, I decided …
Be my victim
Say my name. (Unmarked Spoilers) Anthony McCoy (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is an artist living with his art gallery director girlfriend Brianna (Teyonah Parris). Searching for inspiration for his next project, Anthony meets Cabrini-Green resident William Burke (Colman Domingo), introducing him to the legend of the Candyman. The vengeful spirit of a black man killed due …
Sweets to the sweet
Say my name (Unmarked Spoilers) Candyman, the writing on the wall. Candyman, the whisper in the classroom. Candyman, not the one that mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. Candyman, the one that was created by Clive Barker for his short story “The Forbidden” and later adapted by Bernard Rose for his …
Warwick
…gets billed third despite playing the main and title character. Can you believe that? (Unmarked Spoilers) Willow was a 1988 fantasy movie starring Warwick Davis, between his other two most famous roles of Wicket and the leprechaun. The film was the brainchild of George Lucas, who came up with the story. The film was written by …
Scary Movie
Not my favorite, but still pretty good. (Massive Unmarked Spoilers) The fifth installment of the Scream trilogy opens with Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega) stuck home alone when she hears her landline ringing. When she picks up the phone, she’s greeted by a voice (Roger L. Jackson) and then attacked by someone wearing a familiar costume. …
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