Let's Cee a Movie

Men who hate women

These movies might not be horror, but they’re still disturbing. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Män som hatar kvinnor or The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a Swedish novel by Stieg Larson that has been adapted to film twice. A Swedish version that was released 2009, starring Michael Nyqvist and Noomi Rapace. And a North American version that was released in 2011, starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara

Jenny Jenny, you’re the girl for me

This wasn’t quite what I was expecting. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Jennifer’s Body is a horror-comedy initially released in 2009. I remember watching this movie and not liking it, which was true for a lot of people. The film received mixed reviews and was a box office failure. In recent years, people’s opinions have become much more favorable, with some labeling the film a feminist cult classic. That is what convinced me that it was time for a rewatch.

Blood and Water Part 2

If I knew I was going to make two of these, I would have picked a better title. (Unmarked Spoilers)

When we left off, Spencer Galloway (David Cronenberg), heartless b*****d, has set up a series of contests on a private island to determine who will become his heir. Among the contestants are Liv (Sydney Meyer), an Iraq vet. O’Keeffe (Breton Lalama), a blood relative who also ended up being pretty cool. And the twins, Theo (Alex Ozeroy) and Vincent (A.J. Simmons), recently reunited after a kidnapping. There’s also a masked killer known as the Gentleman running around and picking people off one by one in this horror anthology.

Was ‘do it’ making this movie?

The third time is not the charm.

Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga) are back. Their latest exorcism goes horribly wrong. Ed ends up in the hospital after a heart attack. And if that’s bad enough, instead of being expelled, the demon merely jumps from David Glatzel (Julian Hilliard) to Arne Johnson (Ruairi O’Connor). The latter of whom goes on to murder his landlord. Then it’s up to the Warrens to retrace their steps and uncover evidence that will help Johnson’s case.

Cruel Devil

The one thing missing is more of that catchy theme song…(Unmarked Spoilers)

Once upon a time, Cruella (Emma Stone) was once a wild child named Estella (Tipper Seifert-Cleveland, Billie Gadsdon) who was constantly getting in trouble at school. Much to the frustration of her mother Catherine (Emily Beecham). After Estella finally gets expelled, Catherine has to resort to desperate measures. She drives to the home of a wealthy woman to ask for financial assistance and tells Estella to stay in the car.

Better Half

Find out what’s been eating her. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Anne Fedder (Barbara Crampton) is the stifled wife of Jakob (Larry Fessenden), a minister who is so dedicated to his job that he wears his collar all the time. He leaves a lot to be desired in terms of being a husband, though. He talks over her, talks down to her, and snores. One day she decides to show her old flame Tom Low (Robert Rusler) around an old mill he’s going to redevelop. They kiss, but Anne declines to go further than that. Shortly afterward there interrupted by the Master (Bonnie Aarons), a vampire who’s been using the factory as a hideout.

The Extra-Terrestrial

What a great piece of movie nostalgia.

One day siblings Mimi (Nita-Josée Hanna) and Luke (Owen Myre) discover an ancient sarcophagus buried in their backyard. It contains an alien overlord they nickname Psycho Goreman (Matthew Ninaber, voiced by Steven Vlahos), or PG for short. Eons ago, he was imprisoned by the Templars before he could complete his objective of exterminating all life. Luckily for them, Mimi also uncovers PG’s power source, a gem that gives her complete control over him. Mimi then forces PG to obey all of her childish wishes, regardless of the collateral damage.

Lovely Day

Do these two have photographic memories? (Unmarked Spoilers)

Mark (Kyle Allen) is a teen boy stuck in a time loop repeating the same day over and over again. One day he meets Margaret (Kathryn Newton), a girl his age who’s stuck in the time loop with him. After some convincing, Mark teams up with Margaret to make a map of all the perfect things happening in town to pass the time. Could this be the beginning of a beautiful romance?

Do you believe you can fly?

**“There is no way that LeBron will ever be Jordan. Nobody will ever be Jordan, okay.” -Russell Gettis, Bad Teacher (Unmarked Spoilers)**

Al-G Rhythm (Don Cheadle) is the Warner Bros. server algorithm (get it?). When he’s not ruling over the Serververs, he’s busy conducting an idea that will finally get him the respect he thinks he deserves. However, when LeBron James (himself) shoots down a proposed movie starring himself, Al-G responds by yanking the basketball star and his son Dom (Cedric Joe) into cyberspace. Now, to rescue Dom, Lebron needs to win a game of basketball as part of one giant commercial masquerading as a movie that had more in common with Ready Player One or Ralph Breaks the Internet than it does with the original Space Jam.

Blood and Water

F*g rich people. (Unmarked Spoilers)

Slasher is a Canadian anthology series that takes the slasher movie format and expands it to eight episodes. Each season is a self-contained story with a different killer, though it implies that The Executioner (Season 1) and Guilty Party (Season 2) at least occur in the same universe. The show’s also gone through multiple networks, most recently switching from Netflix to Shudder. Unfortunately, they’ve also gone from releasing the whole season at once to the first couple episodes one day, the rest over the following weeks.